political satirist Barry Crimmins

No Taxation On Acceleration!

No Taxation On Acceleration!

Hillary Clinton's New Campaign Slogan

I just arrived home from Boston. The shows were terrific and we raised enough money to buy Bob Lazarus a barrel of oil. Laz is doing great and so are all the Ding Ho alums. It was wonderful to see everyone, including so many of the Ding's patrons.

Speaking of oil, the federal gas tax really added up during my trip from upstate NY to Beantown. If only someone had declared a holiday from that brutal tariff, my trip would have been perfect. The idea of untaxed unleaded is an obvious winner --especially considering how the fee could simply be reassigned to the oil companies. They'd never risk any precious profits by lobbying to fight such a move. Once Big Oil is good and saddled with our old gas taxes, it would never try to pull off anything  so sleazy as passing along the cost of the increased tax (and then some) to the consumer.

Besides, it's about time a politician showed the moral courage required to take a stand for the haggard and downtrodden Humvee owners.
Best of all, such a plan would eventually lead to reduced consumption of foreign oil because once highway maintenance is suspended due to lack of funding, the resulting bridge collapses, tunnel cave-ins and overpass failures will serve as a deterrent to joy riding. But first comes this year's summer driving months with nary a road project to slow us down between here and Chico's Monkey Farm (Live Grandmother Monkeys!)

Once the gas tax holiday is over, I'm sure the American people will be thrilled to start paying it again. What's another 18 cents [or so] when it's September and you're already spending upwards of $4 per gallon? Hell, the goddamned pols  will fight for the honor of announcing the reinstatement of the petrol levy.

So the gas tax holiday can't miss. An occasional bridge plunge is a small price to pay for a few months of tax-free fill-ups. -- BC


JayDenverWednesday, May 7th 2008 10:36AM

I've always liked the idea of using this sign "End Road Work" as a bumper sticker.  Circular irony of a sort that usually escapes me.

CharlieWednesday, May 7th 2008 6:28AM

Yeah! Let's get rid of the gas tax. That way private corporations like Haliburton can take over our highways and roads.
And then we will feel like good Americans contributing to the corporate-way as they charge us evertime we leave our driveways.

It was a great time sunday. J.R. and I couldn't stop laughing, thanks to all of you.