Boneheaded appetites

Boneheaded appetites
Reading Laura Jacobs' homage to Julia Child, I couldn't help but feel a tad of shame for my long ago participation in a predawn incident with my old pal, Lenny Clarke.

Here is how I told the story in my book Never Shake Hands With A War Criminal (available from 4¢ on Amazon's electronic sweatshop -- unsigned additions slightly more expensive)

One evening Lenny and I had been practicing our drinking until the microscopic hours of the morning. We summoned our good friend and personal Green Cab driver Edward "Trigger" Burke to take us in search of breakfast. Lenny said that he knew just the place, and a few minutes later we pulled up on a side street just outside of Harvard Square. He ordered me out of the cab, and I followed him up the walk of one of the posh homes. There wasn't a light on in the place. "Where the hell are we?" I asked.
Lenny said, "We're at someone's home who would just loooove cooking us some breakfast." And with that he began pounding on the door and yelling, "Get up! We want some eggs!" Sure enough, lights came on and after a commotion, two snarling dogs, German shepherds I think, came tearing toward the door.

With that, Lenny turned tail and sprinted back to the cab. I matched him stride for stride and dove in just as Ed stood on the pedal so hard that both our doors closed from the resulting massive rout of inertia. Lenny was howling with laughter. He finally composed himself enough to say, "Jesus Christ, you'd think fucking Julia Child would enjoy doing a little cooking."

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political corruptionFriday, May 4th 2012 6:24PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA !!! i'm laughing,trying no literally picturing this. jennifer dove formally of east lake in skan. my gramp was archie dove(sheriff). his (deputy sheriff) was my grandma ella dove. dad is bill.1st cousin to porky. talk about corruption in politics in a small town...smile !!

Gary in MosulSunday, September 20th 2009 11:25AM

Mr. C Your bloggership is growing (even more) long in the tooth awaiting your next missive.

Hop to son.

Cheers

Greg S.Friday, August 7th 2009 11:43AM

LOL!  That's a great story Barry.  Hope your project is going well.

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Debby EliSaturday, July 18th 2009 12:32PM

Glad to see you back on here!  Thou' I do like the other....

KozmosTuesday, July 14th 2009 11:39AM

Thanks, I always loved that one (although Mr. Bracken insisted someone called out, "Wake up you old whore & make us breakfast!"). Hope this means we can find more here in the future- it makes being unemployed and slowly spiroling down the shitter easier.

Glenn CondellMonday, July 13th 2009 8:58PM

Nice to see you back Barry.

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SandySaturday, July 11th 2009 6:38PM

Great to see you back in the saddle!

Charlie RThursday, July 9th 2009 3:07PM

I cracked up the first time I heard that story (from the Commador himself, Mr. B.).

par4Thursday, July 9th 2009 3:02PM

Good to see you. When will see the big writing project?

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Dennis PerrinWednesday, July 8th 2009 7:45PM

He lives!