Barry Crimmins, Political Satirist.

Look! A shiny balloon!  

Friday, October 23, 2009

Some readers have written to express disappointment over my failure/refusal to write enough (or any) entertaining news analysis for them of late. Sorry to have let this vocal minority down but there is a least a reason for my inactivity -- I fell paralyzed in triage and no matter how much I begged, no one would wheel me out of there. Damned again by my pre-exister stench!

Now that I've regained limited mobility (I've learned to drag myself around by my bootstraps) I'm more cautious about frittering my life away than I was not so long ago. Yours, too. It's morally difficult to muster up droll observations that may only serve to make your paralysis more pleasant and mine less noticeable. I suppose I could spend all my time writing about a microscopic portion of what isn't being discussed but that gets overwhelming. I could cave to pressure and join the balloon chasers but I get colicky considering the nonsense that passes for vital issues these days. OK, OK... projectile vomiting is a more apt description of my malady. So I've decided it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than barf all over everyone.

Despite that hard earned wisdom, this morning I shall attempt to review without regurgitating but promise nothing. In case you end up getting splattered, don't say I didn't warn you.

Here's where we're at, as far as I can tell:

Needless wars rage at a huge cost to, among others, 47 million without health care in the USA. Nevertheless, many people will choose to piss away another day considering the merits (or lack thereof) of fucking FOX News. Even though letting your enemy describe the boundaries of a debate is to lose the debate before it begins, they just can't help themselves.

The profit motive is the most barbarous instinct yet ascribed to humans. It's used to rationalize carnage and worldwide suffering and injustice -- all in the name of a senselessly sacrosanct marketplace. This motive is celebrated as the driving force behind the United States - a country that's called an experiment even though it almost never considers crucial data. For example: wages have been on the decline for generations yet this is never mentioned by those entrusted to do something about our economic plight. We're told we're in a "jobless recovery" at a time when precious funds that could have been put into a Renewed Deal instead went to the criminal nincompoops who were caught making off with our collective life savings. It was like making an emergency airlift to a fat camp in a time of famine everywhere else. The Banksters and the Street Gang received governmental restitution while the rest of us hoped the federal cheese handouts would get reauthorized. That purloined fortune, combined with massively wasteful military expenditures, would have easily funded government employment plans that could have:

Rebuilt our nation's infrastructure and restored its environment and economy

Revitalized art and cultural programs that would provide intellectual and spiritual relief to a country growing more ignorant with the premiere of each new reality television program.

Brought the human right of health care to all our citizens.

Redirected our resources from eons of martial misappropriation and saved future generations -- at home and abroad -- in the process.

Instead, the steady drone of distant mass murder is literally killing us, whether we recognize its sound or not.

I hate the smell of quagmire in the morning. It smells like misery. Feels like it, too.

last updated Friday, October 23, 2009 1:08 PM